praising you in this storm & answered prayer

"I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down

and wiped our tears away,

stepped in and saved the day.

But once again, I say amen

and it's still raining

as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain,

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away. "

-taken from Casting Crowns "Praise You in This Storm"

Over the last couple days, I've come to find out that layoffs are imminent at my place of employment. While there are many who are worse off than we are, finances are extremely tight. So this is our storm.

Answered prayer:

• I've been praying for a long time for the Lord to provide a way for me to be home with our kids. Is this it? time will tell.
  
  
• We have the opportunity to host international exchange students. Being a full time stay-at-home-mom would make us much more comfortable with this.
  
  
• The Lord always provides. So there is my rejoice. Thank you for your provision, Lord.

Thank you, Lord, for taking a selfish person and teaching her to reach beyond herself and see how blessed she truly is.

before you forget

My dad shared the news yesterday about my grandpa. Our girls call him "Papa Jack." Thankfully, there is medication to slow it down, but eventually Papa Jack isn't going to remember. So this is my letter to him. I doubt I'll give it to him, as I want him to spend whatever time he has to remember, remembering the good memories we're making now. So I guess this is more for me than anyone else.

Papa Jack, before you forget.. I love you. I know you have never been able to able to say those words with your mouth, but I have felt them with every "Hi, sweetie," hug and kiss on the cheek. I imagine it was hard because of your past heartbreak to reach out to your family, or maybe it was your childhood. Maybe both. I spent way too much time as a child being frustrated that your step-children and grandchildren had a closer bond than we did. Frustrated that we got 20 minutes at Christmas, and a holiday dinner in between Christmas and New Years. Then we'd wait until your birthday in the summer to see you again. I know there is a history of anger, pain and sadness, and I know you are doing your best to help all of us feel wanted and needed. I have always wanted to be your special granddaughter, and I genuinely cherish the time we have left, and welcome every opportunity to spend time with you and Gramma.

A part of me is heartbroken, though. I dread the day when I see you, and you don't know who I am. Our girls have grown to love you and Gramma, and I don't want you to ever forget. I am so enjoying getting to know you, now that I'm an adult, and I love the joy in your eyes when the girls are around. If you don't remember our names, I hope you'll always remember that we love you.

Last, and most important. I don't know where your heart is. I hope that you come to know the free gift of salvation in Christ before it's too late. It would make it so much easier to know we will see you again, with a clear mind and ears that hear. It's so simple, yet so hard for us to give up our will and accept Christ's will for our lives. So, Papa Jack.. please let Him carry you the rest of the way.

Maybe this is all premature. Maybe you'll have many more years to remember. But I want you to know I love you.. before you forget.

motion sickness

I've been obsessed with a new book.. and a new blog. I am not getting anything done, and I blame the book, the blog, and the author (of course). Oh, and I blame my friend who introduced us. The friend and the author are also to blame for my motion sickness this afternoon.

Let's back up a bit. I love to cook. I love food. I *LOVE* to cook. I *LOVE* food. In fact, I was thinking last night that I could be very happy just testing/creating recipes every day, all day long. Cooking is my love language. If I cook for you, it's because I love you and I want you

to love me in return.

There. So, what book/blog/author has consumed my every thought? "The Pioneer Woman Cooks" by Ree Drummond. The link takes you to her website/blog. Not only do I want to cook every single thing she's posted and eat myself into oblivion, but it's extremely entertaining as well. I love to read her posts, her narratives on the recipes, and love to look at the pictures (extremely helpful, by the way). It's refreshing to read about someone who enjoys life and without pretense.

So where does the motion sickness fit in? Well, after my friend introduced me to the book, I immediately tried to figure out how to fit its purchase into my budget. I then introduced another friend to The Pioneer Woman. She had bought the cookbook and had a 50% off coupon to a local book store who had it on clearance. So today, after church, we swung by the bookstore and $5 later, I walked out the door with my prized purchase. No. I could not until we got home to remove the cellophane and start devouring the contents (that I had already devoured of my friend's copy). I had to start as soon as we pulled out of the parking lot.

I live in the very northwest corner of Washington State. Straight, flat roads are few and far between. I've always been very prone to motion sickness, but given the area where I've grown up, and being the daughter of an avid fisherman, I've learned to control it quite well, and I know what things to avoid - like reading books in cars, boats, or any moving vehicle. Warm car, winding roads, steep hills - all at the same time - within 10 minutes I was done in. I quietly closed the book and closed my eyes, breathing deeply, until we got home. After unloading the car, quietly, I followed my husband and daughters upstairs.. "What would you like for lunch, honey?".. I'm so spoiled. He makes us lunch every Sunday afternoon. I think he must have noticed the lovely shade of green on my face. "You couldn't wait?" look, along with the direction of his eyes at the book I was clutching.. he just sighed. He used to make fun of me when we first got together about my sigh. I think I've taught him the fine art.

love

I love my husband. We both work. He works full time. I work almost full time. He's not feeling well today - chest cold. I had my hair done after work - this always makes it a good day. When I get home, my husband who has worked all day and isn't feeling well, has:

• made a dent in the laundry
• kids are fed and watered
• our oldest has her homework done
• everyone is relaxing

Thank you, husband. I love you.

satisfied

Exodus 20:17 - "You shall not covet.. anything that belongs to your neighbor." or what belongs to anyone else, for that matter. You shall be content with what you have.

Things I am thankful for:

• My husband who loves me and works hard to support our family
• My two beautiful daughters
• Our parents
• Our friends who circle around us, constantly encouraging and praying
• Our home
• Our church
• Our jobs
• God, who loves me and sent His Son to save me.

There are days (everyday) when I wish that life was different.. that I could go back to being the stay-at-home-mom.. that we could afford to take a vacation.. that our 4 year-old could go to pre-school.. or that we could afford to homeschool.. that our 7-year old could be in an extra-curricular activity with her friends.

But all these things don't change what I'm thankful for, and those things are enough. I shall not covet. I shall be satisfied.

here's to 2011

For some reason, this "New Year" was especially exciting for me. It felt like a breath of fresh air.. letting 2010 go, and looking forward to a year of new beginnings.

For those of you who are my facebook friend, you would have seen the following two resolutions:

Resolution #1 - Be anxious for nothing. Praise God for everything.

Resolution #2 - To Love Mercy.

Easy to type, harder to practice. But I want to make the effort. And here's the third:

Resolution #3 - "May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14

So here's to 2011. I don't know what it holds for our family, but I do know that God has a plan for us. I know He holds our future, and life is worth the living just because He lives :)

hello.. is anybody home?

We are, in fact, still alive. I just haven't been posting too much since everything is a bit chaotic, and time for creative inspiration is lacking. We were very busy this summer breaking ground on the new house. We have been very busy this fall with the building of the new house. We hope to be very, VERY busy in the next few weeks finishing up the new house, and MOVING IN! Finally.

While we are very thankful for our rental house (we have been able to avoid a lease and pay month-to-month), it certainly isn't home. Now that the weather has turned and forces us indoors most of the time, we are realizing how close our quarters are, and that we left all our "winter" clothes in storage.. in the back of the unit.. under everything else.

Recipes will be posted again as I have time to come up with new creations. I hope to get a little more inventive once we are in a functioning kitchen. Don't get me wrong.. the oven works here, and the refrigerator stays cold, but there's a lot of juggling going on. One example: make sure you have turned the dining room light off before using the microwave. You want another one? If someone is ironing clothes in the bedroom downstairs, don't attempt to use the hairdryer upstairs. Why those circuits are connected is beyond me.

I'm starting to feel a little more ambitious, as my hopes are high for being more organized again once we are in the new house. Hopefully this will lead to posting more on here, getting the Watkins stuff up and running, and a few other ideas..