praising you in this storm & answered prayer

"I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down

and wiped our tears away,

stepped in and saved the day.

But once again, I say amen

and it's still raining

as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain,

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away. "

-taken from Casting Crowns "Praise You in This Storm"

Over the last couple days, I've come to find out that layoffs are imminent at my place of employment. While there are many who are worse off than we are, finances are extremely tight. So this is our storm.

Answered prayer:

• I've been praying for a long time for the Lord to provide a way for me to be home with our kids. Is this it? time will tell.
  
  
• We have the opportunity to host international exchange students. Being a full time stay-at-home-mom would make us much more comfortable with this.
  
  
• The Lord always provides. So there is my rejoice. Thank you for your provision, Lord.

Thank you, Lord, for taking a selfish person and teaching her to reach beyond herself and see how blessed she truly is.

before you forget

My dad shared the news yesterday about my grandpa. Our girls call him "Papa Jack." Thankfully, there is medication to slow it down, but eventually Papa Jack isn't going to remember. So this is my letter to him. I doubt I'll give it to him, as I want him to spend whatever time he has to remember, remembering the good memories we're making now. So I guess this is more for me than anyone else.

Papa Jack, before you forget.. I love you. I know you have never been able to able to say those words with your mouth, but I have felt them with every "Hi, sweetie," hug and kiss on the cheek. I imagine it was hard because of your past heartbreak to reach out to your family, or maybe it was your childhood. Maybe both. I spent way too much time as a child being frustrated that your step-children and grandchildren had a closer bond than we did. Frustrated that we got 20 minutes at Christmas, and a holiday dinner in between Christmas and New Years. Then we'd wait until your birthday in the summer to see you again. I know there is a history of anger, pain and sadness, and I know you are doing your best to help all of us feel wanted and needed. I have always wanted to be your special granddaughter, and I genuinely cherish the time we have left, and welcome every opportunity to spend time with you and Gramma.

A part of me is heartbroken, though. I dread the day when I see you, and you don't know who I am. Our girls have grown to love you and Gramma, and I don't want you to ever forget. I am so enjoying getting to know you, now that I'm an adult, and I love the joy in your eyes when the girls are around. If you don't remember our names, I hope you'll always remember that we love you.

Last, and most important. I don't know where your heart is. I hope that you come to know the free gift of salvation in Christ before it's too late. It would make it so much easier to know we will see you again, with a clear mind and ears that hear. It's so simple, yet so hard for us to give up our will and accept Christ's will for our lives. So, Papa Jack.. please let Him carry you the rest of the way.

Maybe this is all premature. Maybe you'll have many more years to remember. But I want you to know I love you.. before you forget.